Pornography has been a major marriage struggle for many, many years (my guess is from the time of the printing press). And now with the internet, pornography is more accessible than it has ever been in history. It is so prevalent, and our younger generation is so bombarded with sexual images, that it is not just men these days, but even young girls are beginning to view pornography online at an alarming pace.

However, the vast majority of viewers are men. The number of men viewing pornography on the internet is truly astounding. It can almost be described as an epidemic. So should wives be concerned with this in their own marriage?

What are the implications in your marriage?

Your husband’s watching of internet pornography will only harm your marriage, and it will likely harm it significantly. Why? Your marriage bond is made up of many parts, which includes the sexual part. Marriage is the closest union of two people on the planet. It is the relationship where you are the most vulnerable. And for a man, we are never more vulnerable than after having sex. It’s how we feel connected.

Your husband’s viewing of pornography will have an impact on your sex life. It may at first seem like it is helping, as it’s possible his sex drive will initially increase after viewing porn. In the long run, however, it will be devastating to your marriage. Why do I say that?

It has been shown that men deem a woman attractive relative to the attractiveness of other women. Especially women they have just recently seen. Studies have been performed where men were asked to view ‘supermodels’, and then to rate average looking women for attractiveness shortly thereafter. These same women were also rated by men who had not viewed the supermodels before rating. The ‘average looking women’ were consistently rated as being more attractive by the group of men not viewing the supermodels first.

You vs. The Porn Star – Good Luck!

You will never be able to compete with the women found on internet porn sites. And you will be competing. Eventually your husband will grow ungrateful for you physically, and it will hurt your sex life. A poor sex life almost invariably leads to emotional distance. And emotional distance leads to apathy and divorce.

You need to be wise in how you discuss pornography with your husband, because if he is already involved, he likely won’t walk away that easily. We’ll save discussion strategies for another post, but as to the question of whether he should be watching it – the answer is an emphatic ‘no’.